Domestic Violence: Causes, Effects, and Remediating Strategies

By

Oweyegha-Afunaduula

Environmentally and genetically-speaking, spouses come from unlike environments and families, and were, therefore, differently nurtured.

Besides, they do not share any genes. It is their children who share their genes and between themselves. This means spouses are foreigners who decide to live close to and with each other.

The more they minimize their differences and maximize their like traits – such as listening, respect and empathy – the more they find living together an enjoyable experience.

Learning one’s spouse, respecting what he or she loves or does not like, is important to the continuation of the experience.

Spouses should influence each other positively.

As one grows older, and he or she has no parents anymore, and children have been weened off to go and start their own families, his or her spouse is the only important thing to relate to at very close range.

Marriage is naturally the most difficult school one can attend. Discipline is critical.

There are many exogenous people and things that are all the time there to wreck the school.

Human stupidity and foolishness may also operate to make one of the spouses to behave stupidly and foolishly, even in old age.

Spouses should work together to identify them as they grow older in wisdom and understanding.

Many spouses are breaking apart too early because they don’t want to learn anew, or to give up past experiences and connections for the marriage. Or else they magnify small differences at the expense of consensus in the home.

Unfortunately most of our married couples are young people who emphasise “I” instead of “We” expression. And, if their parents are still alive, they prefer to relate to them more than to their spouses.

Cases of wives constructing houses without the knowledge of their spouses are not uncommon. Or else because of mistrust, or failure of one of the spouses to fulfill marital responsibilities, “side dishes” degrade interconnectivity and unity in the home. This can have deleterious effects on children. Many children have become deliquescent because of things like these.

Patience is critical.

Conquer anger.

Agree that making mistakes is human.

No one is perfect. All of us have fallen short of the glory of God.

 

For God and my Country.

The author is a retired university professor and living at his country home in Nawaka, Luuka, Eastern Uganda.